tip toe

The woman's tears was dropping down to their newly bought IKEA Liliberg sofa, wettening the textured white sensitive fabric while the couple was holding hands.

bon dia.

sunday morning.

pazartesi

Oldu işte.
Hep rüzgarın önüme kattığı
dört bir yana dağılmış en değerli
kağıt parçacıklarımı kovalarcasına kovaladığım
"ebe tura bir ki üç" eşliğinde
zamanı durdurmak isteyip
günlerce gün saydığım günler
sıradan bir pazartesi sabahı kapıyı tık tıklatan
postacı misali geldi buyurdu kapımdan içeri.
O mu girdi ben mi çıktım kapıdan
ne olduğunu anlamadan kendimi buldum
bu kutupayısı duvarların arasında.
Beni tatmin eden hep bir hayale yaklaşmanın
ramak kala'nın, erişince de başardım'ın ta kendisiymiş.
Bir adam.
Bir köpek.
Sevgili.
Arkadaş.
Birbirimizi yedik yemek niyetine gün aşırı.
Yoruluverdik midemiz doldu taştı.
Rejime girdik şimdi.
İşteş diyetisyenler ve otokontrol eşliğinde.
Benimsiyorum yavaş yavaş.
Su birden kaynayamıyor yüz derecede.
Önce ılıştırıyoruz..
sonra kabarcıklar
sonra fokur fokur..

see you.

I claim this over and over; Mecidiyekoy is the most chaotic place in the universe.. (cars, air pollution, noise pollution, klaxons, freaky rushing people..) While i was standing right in the middle of that chaos today, waiting for 123U (one of my favourite buses) a girl approached and asked me whether the bus to Besiktas was passing by, about which i had no clue. I was telling her to ask someone else or to police but she had no intention to since everybody was in their own business. Then she decided to wait for a while and initiated conversation and we were mentioning how chaotic the place was. We haven't even finished our complaints just as her bus came.. And she was like;
-Here it is !
-See you !!

See you ?!?! Where? When? How?

This has no difference than putting an order to the closest market to you via phone and saying "kisses" afterwards, and when the guy brings your order there you go and open the door with a blushy face..

My dear country & my dear language habbits & collocations..

S.O.S

hellooo !! ... helloo !!! (echoes) .. is there anybody out there??.. can someone... can someone hear me ???
I push the red button, the huge button, the biggest button, the most alarming button, all those adjectives may have significance for me in a subjective and personal manner whereas they may not mean anything, they may not evoke any alarm for anyone else.. They may be all about a simple phone call to say "what a nonsense" after hanging up, or a "whatever" sigh after reading the e-mail..
I would never imagine its being that hard to get some information about the requirements of application to a university abroad.
I am ready to leave a city of 15 million and be in a 15.000 populated one.
I am ready to wash my own clothes and cook my own food as well as washing & cooking his.
I am ready for taking a big black monster out for walks and feeding him as well.
I am ready to cut down my luxuries and be limited.
I am ready to learn and speak a totally new language.

I am ready, so.. you had better be too !

ACCEPT


DENY

untitled.

"...have you ever seen sci.fi movies with smiling aliens?
no
why?
because they dont have you"

My butt can be the flattest object in the world after this weekend.. Setting goal, approaching, accomplishing in the weekend limits is the main reason which glued me to bed with a japanese glue and now i am trying to detach myself which is highly unlikely..
You are the greatest mixture, the sweetest pill.. With meaningly meaningless internet games, we have been biting and corroding the last few hours, we have been stupidly happy.. Why? Because we did something together.

My belly button is making attempts to reach the phone, to connect to internet, to run to the post office, to jump over the continents, to reach the semi-islands because in the end there is you.

Sci-fi movie aliens are not as lucky as i am. They will never hang their clothes outside on a rope, they will never turn on their computers with their toes, they will never check plane ticket prices and compare, they will never make star shaped cookies, they will never look at you, they will never have such smile.

the dreambook

Okay ! A sweet defeat..
While i was wandering in Robinson Crusoe -whose workers i see more often than my family- i came across that book which almost gave me an heart attack, changing my pulse rapidly!
It was there, my dream, my never-enacted project..
Fellini drew and wrote his dreams much earlier than i did and had that great book published!
I can't say that he had an idea about my project, nor was he competing with me but this was so admirable ! To have your thoughts coming alive, to turn those pages and to be able to read and see and visionize one's dreams!
I could just grab the book and take it home if i had a spare $125 in my pocket, which extended +30 minutes of my stay there..
While leaving, i had that sad look in my eyes but a new hope inside ! And yes, i grabbed that trio det of Moleskine which is multi-functional now.. Started drawing my dreams with the help of the inspiration derived from my sweet defeat :)
Still, if you are interested in Fellini's book here it is; the book of dreams before mine comes out, which is likely in 10 years..

ilookbehindthescreen

i look behind the screen
beyond your skin,
another day,
that i feel loved,
that i feel loved.

dream punch

That's, boogie wonderlaaaand !

Let's take a look at my weekly dream punch;

-Shakespeare's grave in my room. (it was red)

-Being masqued and fighting with masqued men at a party (good vs. evil) I still dont know what we were fighting for.

-Living in Forth Mayers, Florida and a bus ticket to city center(which was like istanbul) is 3.5 eur.
(When did U.S changed their currency???)

-I live in Florida but getting ready to go to University of Porto (dream perfecption of locations is incredible)

-My beloved boyfriend doesnt want to hold my hand outside, i become mad at him and he has round funny glasses, he is not even him, and my hair was long.

-In real, my phone battery was low and in dream my mobile was off.. So if you called me meanwhile in bunnyland i was irreachable !

Mix all these ingredients, it feels like you had 2 x 70 cl. Raki before you went to sleep.. I feel lucky doing it without :) Dreams are the best and the only short movies that doesnt have any enterence fee or certain time of matinee..

round round

i lacked my wisdom on thursday!
my dear ancestors left me the most stupid heritage
and not only one !
1, 2, 3, 4!
dear dentist's fingers crawled through my OOOOpen mouth
while he was talking about his rendez vouz with his assistant
my mouth was being torn apart
there is no feeling like being stitched while you are conscious
mmmm
this was my first,
my mouth was virgin
and he wanted me to pick hard or easy
i picked the letter..

everything was fine until the injections lost their affects..
pain pain ouch pain
first it was like a small tennis ball..
and the next day was even more fertile
swelling, swelling
ta taaa
balloonish right cheek !

i am now much better but still cant bend my head upside down
so..
- i am unable to tie my shoe laces (since i dont go out that s no problem)
-i am unable to take the clean dishes out of dishwasher's underside
-i am unable to wash my hair only, (this morning i thought i could in a hurry then i had to throw myself into a complete shower)
-unable to hang out with monkey friends on trees using my tail

you can see me out in any child's hand flying over the city, the world is round, tennis balls are round, balloons are almost round, wheels are round, i am round,..